Sunday, September 8, 2013

The equation of 'Imposed' Relationships

Hi Friends, I know I am writing after a long time . Sorry , a few things in my life were demanding more attention and space from me than expected, hence this long a pause in my love of 'pushing the pen or rather my laptop keys ;)'.

The caption of this post may make you think that I am going to vent out my feelings of frustration/anger in this space. You may be right to an extent , but not entirely . It's more of just expressing how I feel about certain things / beliefs/structures in our society 'as it is' without any exaggeration or manipulation. Till date , I have never understood why certain or most parts of society believe that after marriage , it is solely the bride's responsibility to keep the groom's family happy and contented . Then why do the wise say that marriage is a union of two souls .... Rather they should have said that it is a union of a master and a slave , where the slave is supposed to not only serve the master but also his family , no matter how mannerless idiots they appear to be.

When we were kids, we used to think that when we grow up into adults , our generation won't have to go through all these non-sensical ideas propagated by semi-educated /illiterate people . But Alas, here we are still fighting for the most basic of human rights - the right to live according to our own wishes and choices. Although many women are doing so , but not without struggles.

The moment, a daughter-in-law comes to the house , this class of people believe they have purchased a new 'toy' for themselves whose emotions they can play with, mouth-off harsh and malicious comments on her and her family, making her realize at every step that she is a subservient to them . The sad thing is only a few girls stand up for themselves because they fear so many things - the fear of being outcasted by the society , lack of financial independence, or simply being too lazy to even stand up against what they think is so incorrect.

And the result is a vicious cycle of churning more and more hypocrites, who under the name of 'culture' promote this obsolete way of differentiating between a man's right and a woman's right. These hypocrites think that a woman's primary and only duty is to only satisfy or fulfill the man's needs, obey his commands and be a good bahu(daughter-in-law), a good patni(wife) in short be like a gaai(cow) in their parlance.

Then why should the girl be educated at all , when all she is going to be is like a gaai.... ( a faithful cow who doesn't have any primary desires of her own and who knows only to nourish others and sacrifice for others) .

We always talk of growing imbalance of sex-ratio in our country, the current stat being 914 girls for 1000 boys i.e. 86 girls less for each thousand of boys . Don't you think these stats have a strong reason behind them , a gory and most heinous of stories to tell. In India, we always try to look at the surface, rather than probing deep. We blame the doctors for sex-determination tests , parents for killing their female foetuses inside the womb . But do we ever realize what is causing them ? I agree, that it is the most dastardly and hateful of crimes that mankind is capable of committing , but mates have you ever realized what is causing these acts ?

It is the same class of hypocrites , who are to be blamed. If a girl is born and brought up only to eventually bring insult to herself and her family, why go through the pain of giving birth to a daughter , why not abort her and save her from a life full of slavery and insult . This is how the parents probably think while committing the crime of aborting their own child . And they are not the lone culprits. The major culprit is the system that we have cultivated in our society.

The system of differentiating between a male's and female's right to their own lives. The thought that a boy becomes a god for his wife (pati parmatma) after wedding . The thought that a son-in-law has the right to behave however he wants with his in-laws, but a daughter-in-law has to treat everyone(even the younger members of the family) in the groom's family like demigods. These things have to be changed and they are not very difficult to get-rid of.

The solution is to empathize with others feelings(irrespective of gender) and not think that the female gender is differently made. And off course good education (not the kind of education that is sought only to earn a degree) and last but not the least , a basic amount of spiritual dosage .
Bhagavad-gita says a soul at times incarnates as a male and at times as a female. Hence, at the soul level there is no difference between being a male or a female.

At the end, I cannot say 'Hope you enjoyed my post friends' , but I  would rather like to close by saying 'Hope I could make some sense friends'.......................